physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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