i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
