How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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