it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
