I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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