You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
