and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
