I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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