my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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