Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize