who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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