I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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