I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
