i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
my liver is dry heaving
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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