He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
