is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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