no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
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