It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
