Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
