Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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