Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
