i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
