I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
