This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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