dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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