I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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