I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
