I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
