Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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