Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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