You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
