Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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