So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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