Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.

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(904): the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar. http://tfl.nu/n52w

Replies (42) Good night (8729) Bad night (710)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening

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(732): and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening http://tfl.nu/8ijj

Replies (17) Good night (1480) Bad night (4780)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....

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(918): Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out.... http://tfl.nu/hiy4

Replies (14) Good night (4083) Bad night (676)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.

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(+44): I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa. http://tfl.nu/wm5o

Replies (3) Good night (2107) Bad night (926)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention

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(228): I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention http://tfl.nu/1mmd

Replies (6) Good night (1563) Bad night (784)
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(410): View more from Maryland

My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?

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(410): My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/txqd

Replies (1) Good night (924) Bad night (835)
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(210): View more from Texas

I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.

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(210): I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers. http://tfl.nu/eiw9

Replies (8) Good night (1756) Bad night (693)
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(406): View more from Montana

I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!

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(406): I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before! http://tfl.nu/id35

Replies (10) Good night (1474) Bad night (425)
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(816): View more from Missouri

The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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(816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp

Replies (5) Good night (2786) Bad night (357)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.

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(215): I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back. http://tfl.nu/mir2

Replies (3) Good night (515) Bad night (319)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!

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(412): Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life! http://tfl.nu/3yi6

Replies (6) Good night (906) Bad night (267)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?

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(+44): HELP! How do I get paint off the dog? http://tfl.nu/myj5

Replies (6) Good night (307) Bad night (455)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.

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(901): he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there. http://tfl.nu/fd7u

Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (296)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.

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(703): Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night. http://tfl.nu/79l1

Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (261)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.

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(505): I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp. http://tfl.nu/vrdl

Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (243)

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