Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)" http://tfl.nu/e61w
  Replies (31) Good night (1230) Bad night (4933)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back http://tfl.nu/zjkd
  Replies (22) Good night (7500) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up. http://tfl.nu/gf96
  Replies (19) Good night (6212) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g
  Replies (15) Good night (4635) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless. http://tfl.nu/cahf
  Replies (4) Good night (3033) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself http://tfl.nu/s870
  Replies (6) Good night (3706) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories. http://tfl.nu/22b8
  Replies (6) Good night (2038) Bad night (1463)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path. http://tfl.nu/8tge
  Replies (6) Good night (2357) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate http://tfl.nu/14fu
  Replies (6) Good night (2272) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (605): I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD... http://tfl.nu/4wif
  Replies (0) Good night (865) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game. http://tfl.nu/k79m
  Replies (3) Good night (609) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling. http://tfl.nu/qcnf
  Replies (4) Good night (1321) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"? http://tfl.nu/pajq
  Replies (14) Good night (1078) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  someone just got arrested on campus...

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  holy fuck look at all that cocaine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): someone just got arrested on campus... (908): holy fuck look at all that cocaine http://tfl.nu/ymqg
  Replies (0) Good night (931) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE. http://tfl.nu/w76l
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (363)

Randomize