Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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  (248): did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there. http://tfl.nu/0o4m
  Replies (6) Good night (1488) Bad night (752)
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  (424): View more from California

  I'd wear matching sweaters with you

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  (424): I'd wear matching sweaters with you http://tfl.nu/xbhf
  Replies (3) Good night (2331) Bad night (1297)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  when did we get a doorman?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were also in the wrong building...

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  (203): yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman. (508): when did we get a doorman? (203): we were also in the wrong building... http://tfl.nu/c2ke
  Replies (15) Good night (7013) Bad night (1123)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.

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  (757): you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK. http://tfl.nu/qo45
  Replies (24) Good night (1442) Bad night (3221)
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  (951): View more from California

  Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.

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  (951): Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other. http://tfl.nu/32su
  Replies (10) Good night (2117) Bad night (861)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.

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  (410): It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience. http://tfl.nu/n6q9
  Replies (6) Good night (855) Bad night (1584)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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  (914): Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house. http://tfl.nu/9b9q
  Replies (1) Good night (1253) Bad night (820)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?

  (1+61): View more from

  Mobile recharge?

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  (+61): What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls? (1+61): Mobile recharge? http://tfl.nu/wf5a
  Replies (2) Good night (980) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.

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  (705): Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old. http://tfl.nu/q951
  Replies (7) Good night (365) Bad night (895)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.

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  (305): I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/aqrx
  Replies (3) Good night (285) Bad night (566)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises

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  (519): Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises http://tfl.nu/10cn
  Replies (1) Good night (718) Bad night (577)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?

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  (+44): What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles? http://tfl.nu/033m
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?

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  (315): You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen? http://tfl.nu/8ha5
  Replies (21) Good night (934) Bad night (387)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters

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  (315): i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters http://tfl.nu/mv30
  Replies (16) Good night (339) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up

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  (212): She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up http://tfl.nu/3zuk
  Replies (8) Good night (587) Bad night (250)

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