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Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
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