I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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