1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
