just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
