is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
