There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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