I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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