you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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