I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
