Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
