I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
