i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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