You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just want nice things and good sex
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
