If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize