I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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