Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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