she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
