What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
