butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My balls are so social today.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
