Apparently you make a good broom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We had sex on a dog bed..
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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