Banned from zoo.
Again?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My bed smells like the plague
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
