It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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