don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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