the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize