We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
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He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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