ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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