just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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