When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
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Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
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When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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