we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
