I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
